


You instead

by Nath_happiness



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, M/M, Post-Break Up, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 12:13:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13880646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nath_happiness/pseuds/Nath_happiness
Summary: Derek wasn't born with a soulmate. Stiles was.





	You instead

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta read, all mistakes are mine.  
> If you are concerned about the angst, there are spoilers at the end note.

 

Derek enters his apartment, locks the door and walks towards the kitchen, leaving the grocery bags on the wood table. It’s Friday night, and that means a movie and wine and appetizers.

While he puts the groceries away, he tries not to think about the glaring thing that is missing from this tradition. Tries not to notice how quiet the apartment is right now.

To make himself feel better, Derek grabs his phone and plays some music on, the newest top hits.

When Derek is done, he goes to the bathroom and takes a shower. Nobody needs to know if he cries a little in there. There is no one to tell, anyway.

*

See, it all goes back to this: Derek wasn't born with a soulmate. Stiles was.

*

Derek’s skin is flawless, without the tattoo containing the words that his soulmate would say at their first encounter. He isn’t alone in this, as roughly 25% of the population didn’t present the indication of a soulmate.

He is still part of the minority though.

When he meets Stiles at a corporate event, he doesn’t expect anythig from it. When they go out for drinks, exchange phone numbers, go out for dates, when Stiles brings his sleeves up while eating a messy and greasy hamburger and Derek glances at the stark black line written on the pale skin of Stiles’ wrist, he is still cool about it. They are just friends.

Stiles starts seeking him out. Clearing up space in Derek’s calendar for him, making himself at home in Derek’s apartment. Showing up with food, and movies and sweet invitations to hang out. And Derek goes along with it because Stiles is nice and fun to be around.

When Stiles kisses him for the first time, though, Derek feels a sudden flick of apprehension. He glances at Stiles tattoo out of the corner of his eyes.

At that moment, Derek knows that, when the time comes, he will have to let Stiles go his merry way. He will have to.

*

Over the next few months. Stiles does his best to assure Derek that he takes their relationship seriously, that he likes Derek, kissing his neck or hugging him from behind, but they both know that they are doomed. Stiles doesn’t say he loves Derek, nor does he makes long-term plans with him; It’s not fair to Stiles’ unknown soulmate - or to Derek - if Stiles makes promises he can’t keep.

*

Things move forward from there, and Derek begins to question his fears. They have been together for a few months, and it’s getting better and better.

Slowly, they get into a routine, doing things together just for the sake of it. Just because it’s fun. Derek enjoys their movie nights, their game nights. He also likes drinking with their friends at the local bar. He likes helping Stiles’ prepare for a presentation at work, preems at just being there for him in the same way Stiles is there for Derek.

It isn't easy like the love between soulmates. They fight sometimes and have makeup sex. They bicker and tease, and Derek has bad days and Stiles gets frustrated with him because he will close up and not speak much. Other times Derek can't focus on all the things coming out of stiles mouth at the same time, gets lost in his confusion.

It’s hardly a legendary love tale, but Derek is content, thinks he loves Stiles. Thinks maybe he will be able to keep him. Most people meet their soulmate into early adulthood, and Stiles is almost passing that stage. If only Derek and his love could be enough.

Derek starts feeling hope.

Things change suddenly though.

One day, while they are choosing which wine to buy at the market, already having chosen the other items for their night, a woman turns to Stiles and says “excuse me, do you know what wine goes well with fish and cream?”

Stiles freezes, and Derek feels like throwing up. He doesn’t need to see Stiles’ wrist to confirm. He has teased him enough about it in the past.

Before the scene can unfold, before Stiles has even answered the woman, Derek excuses himself, saying he needs to pay for their cart.

He runs to the registers, but changes his mind on the way and leaves the cart on the cookies aisle, walking towards the door and after that his car.

Stiles find him when he is opening the door, grabbing his forearm with a wide-eyed look on his face. Derek can see regret, sadness, but also excitement, and that breaks his heart.

“Please wait a minute”, Stiles pleads, but Derek can see the woman hesitating in the front of the store, eyes sad, and that makes his mind. He is the one intruding here, coming between a fated meeting. He is the one in the wrong.

Derek closes the gap between him and Stiles, cupping his chin with a hand and bringing their lips together gently, barely a kiss.

“Be happy, love”, Derek whispers then leaves.

*

It would have been easy to just pick his bags and go back to his parents’ small town, let his family soothe him with their affection. It would be easy to just leave everything behind, to try to forget and find somewhere he can breathe, anywhere.

But Derek stops in the middle of packing and decides that he is better than this.

Stronger than this childlike tantrum.

Stiles has found his soulmate, so what? Does that mean Derek needs to let go of everything he has worked so hard to achieve even after he has broken things with Stiles?

Does he have to give up on himself too? Wasn’t letting go of Stiles painful enough?

Derek can overcome this. He can.

Sitting on his bedroom floor with clothes thrown all over the place, cheeks wet with the tears that just keep coming. Derek thinks he can live with this void in his chest. _He must_.

*

Derek decides to keep living his life, one day at a time.

He goes to his work, gets compliments on jobs well-done, goes back to his house and keeps doing the things he is used to.  Tries not to see Stiles in every corner, in every shadow.

When the lonely thoughts get almost corporeal, they are so real, he calls his family and friends, and they make it a little better.

Scott texts and they go out for drinks sometimes. They have always enjoyed each other company, but lately, Derek has the feeling that they are meeting more out of need than want.

Scott is… complicated. Since Stiles told Derek about the other man’s past, Derek has been kinder and more patient with him.

Unlike Derek, Scott has a soulmate. However, his soulmate was born with two tattoos. When Scott met her, she already had a husband and was living a happy life with her other soulmate.

Scott doesn’t talk about her, or soulmates for that matter. Which is why Derek is more surprised than hurt when Scott starts telling tales about Stiles’ fated one. He talks about her beauty, and kindness and clever eyes. He says "she is great. Derek, she is so -" and there's a kind of desperation in his tone and sadness in his eyes that Derek knows too well. He recognizes his own longing in his friend’s unsaid words.

Derek puts his hands on his friend’s shoulders and speaks quietly "its ok, Scott. We will be alright.” Derek wants to smash something. He would punch fate itself if he could right now.  But he can’t. The only thing he can do is to promise “We will be fine, you will see".

*

Little by little, Derek gets used to it. The silence, the extra space in his bed, the way his routine morphs back to how it used to be. Every so often he thinks he hears Stiles’ laugh, but it’s only his imagination.

He is finishing dinner, music loud around him when there’s a knock on the door.

He freezes because he knows that knock. He had thought he would have heard that sound earlier, has put everything that belonged to Stiles in a box, but his ex-boyfriend never came back for it. Until now, it seems.

He turns the music off, dries his hands and opens the door.

Stiles is thinner than he remembers, his hair greasy despite the stylish way Stiles has tried to arrange it. He has dark bags under his eyes.

Derek feels conflicted, and for a moment he doesn’t know what to do. Then, he caves and opens the door wider, letting Stiles into his home again.

Stiles looks at the DVD poised on the TV, glances at the wine sitting on the table along with the appetizers and Derek’s stomach sinks. He feels a shame so deeply it’s unlike anything he has ever felt before. He feels humiliated for standing there, all alone, keeping their stupid routine alive all by himself.

Crossing his arms, he asks “what do you want Stiles? Are you here because of your things? I can -”

“No!” Stiles cries, hands outstretched towards Derek. “I came here for another reason. Please Derek, would you listen?”

Derek gestures to the couch and sits at Stiles’ side. “What is it?” he asks in a softer tone. He doesn’t like the way Stiles seems nervous, picking at his cuticles and taking deep breaths.

Stiles turns on his side to face Derek properly. “I am sorry I didn’t come sooner. I wanted to, but I didn’t know what to do, or say.”

“I wouldn’t have let you come here”, Derek says. Then, because he isn’t a saint, he lashes out “How is your soulmate?”

Tone bitter and eyes hard. Sue him.

Stiles doesn’t flinch, not exactly. “Fine, she is fine. She is easy”.

Derek turns his head, throat tight. That is not a compliment anyone can give him, not even Stiles.

“No, Derek, she is _easy_. Her laughs are easy, her smiles come easily. She is down for pretty much everything I propose, be it hiking or, I don’t know, going to the mechanics? Boring stuff? She always says yes. Hell, she thinks my jokes are funny” Stiles says like it personally offends him.

“Stiles, what –“ Derek starts, but Stiles takes his hands into his.

“I am not dating her. We have never gone past kissing because I can’t take it. I don’t want her, I want you, Der. I can’t stop thinking about you”.

Derek wants to take his hands back, and he does, standing and pacing around his living room. His heart going wild inside him.  “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Stiles watches him pace, hopelessly. “I denied a relationship with my soulmate. Because I want you instead”. Stiles looks at his hands, sucking in a breath. “If I had never met you, maybe, but you are _right here_ , and how could I ever want someone else? I want our routine. That wine, over there? I want to be the one to share it with you. Hell, I even miss fighting with you, I miss your bitchface.” He smiles at Derek’s glare. “That one. I miss your moods, Der. I love how I have to earn each one of your smiles”.

Derek stops in his tracks and stares at Stiles. Stiles stares right back at him.

“You aren’t easy Derek. And I don’t want easy,” he says.

*

Things don’t go back to the way they were, no matter how much Stiles wishes for it.

They don’t get back together immediately either.

Derek has been hurt too much to simply forget that the past few months existed.

*

His family thinks he is crazy of choosing to give Stiles the benefit of doubt. Laura wants to crush Stiles’ balls, but Derek convinces her not to come. It’s a close thing though, and he tells Stiles as such, enjoying Stiles wide eyes and the way he swallows in fear.

Laura is _scary_.

*

It starts with neutral places, like restaurants and museums. They spend time walking around the city, relearning how to be around each other.

Derek still looks at Stiles as if he is a fidget of his imagination though, and it hurts Stiles, but he can’t help it. They go back to Derek’s apartment after one date and Derek finally breaks down and cries in front of Stiles.

Stiles just holds him, both sitting on the floor with their backs on the wall.

“It’s ok, Der. I am sorry I hurt you,” Stiles says, and he is crying too. “I am so sorry”.

“What about your soulmate? Does she hate me?” Derek asks because he is a masochist and can’t stop thinking about the stupid woman. He is not a homewrecker. He is not.

Stiles kisses his forehead. “Kira wasn’t happy at first, no. But love, she knew. She knew I loved you from the beginning. And she has made peace with the fact that I will never be hers. We are friends now”.

Derek pushes away from his arms and stares at Stiles. “You have been meeting her at the same time you have been begging for me to forgive you?”

When Stiles just looks at him, mouth working without making a sound, Derek gets up and points to the door. “Get out”. Derek doesn’t know why, but he feels _betrayed_.

Stiles gapes at him. “What?”

“I have no intention of living with this fucking _shadow_ on our relationship. I didn’t craw for you, I didn’t ask for anything, _you_ came back. I thought you had dealt with it!”

“Dealt with _it_? She is a person Derek, and no, I didn’t choose it, but she is still my soulmate. The least I can do is remain her friend. I am sure you can understand it.”

Derek doesn’t. He fucking doesn’t. He doesn’t have a _fucking_ soulmate. To show it, he exposes his wrists so Stiles can see. Stiles’ jaw works, and he visibly calms himself. Derek stupid eyes are still leaking tears, after all.

“Did you hear a word I said?” Stiles wonders out loud. “I _love_ you. Kira and I are platonic friends and soulmates. She is like a sister to me.”

“For now”, Derek says.

Stiles stares. “For now?”

“I will never have the connection will have with her. So yes, right now, while we are together you may be platonic, but what about six months from now? One year, ten years? You can’t promise that to me, Stiles. You never made long-term promises to me.”

Stiles’ eyes melt into sadness, the anger leaking out of them, and he stands up, bringing Derek into a hug. “I fucked up, didn’t I, love? Listen well. This is me making a long-term promise to you.” He waits for Derek to nod, and continues. “If you think our connection is weak then you have no idea of how much I feel for you. Do you think I just stumbled and suddenly you and I were dating?”

Derek remains quiet, and Stiles snorts. “I became so into you after that first time, when we were out for drinks, that I have no words. You were - and still are - the most beautiful person I have ever seen. I had the tattoo on my wrist, but I couldn't help it, I wanted more from you. I didn’t want a soulmate. I wanted you instead,” Stiles kisses his forehead again, pushing his bangs out of the way with gentle fingers.

“When we broke up, I was miserable. That's not how we are supposed to feel when we meet our soulmate, but I felt like the world was ending. And it was because you weren’t there anymore.” Derek puts a little distance between their faces, his heart going wild.

“I didn’t know it was this difficult for you”, he whispers.

“Difficult? That an understatement”, Stiles smiles and cups his face with both hands. “Our connection will become a legend someday, Derek Hale. I don’t ever want to live without you. Please don’t make me live without you,” he pleads softly.

Derek could live with this. He could.

Derek kisses Stiles with an inch of his life, feeling complete for the first time in a lifetime. Stiles kisses back.

*

Derek meets Kira one afternoon a few weeks later while waiting for Stiles on the ice cream shop. She just looks at him and smiles. “Just make him happy, ok?” Holding both his hands with both of hers, she adds “you deserve it all Derek Hale. Don’t think you don’t.”

After she was gone, Derek was shaking so hard he had to sit for a while. Good thing Stiles is always late because of work.

*

The next time he sees Kira, they are all meeting for a double date. Yes, the idea sounds as weird as the actual date itself.

Stiles and Kira act like siblings, conspiring and gossiping over the table, while Derek and Scott look around and try to gather their bearings. But Derek can see the light in Scott’s eyes when Kira leans close to whisper something in his ears. Scott seems happy. They look like a sweet couple.

Stiles puts a palm on Derek’s thighs and squeezes, giving a nod towards his friends and wriggling his eyebrows, a huge smile on his face. And, well.

Derek is happy too.

 

FIM.

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: Kira is Stiles’ soulmate, but they decide to keep it platonic. She and Scott became a couple in the end.
> 
>  
> 
> I would apologize, but I have been suffering with this idea in my head, all alone :( Now I can share the pain lol I just hope I made it all better in the end.  
> You can find me on Tumblr [here](http://herewegohappiness.tumblr.com/).


End file.
